Thought of the Day - April 22 2021 - Kids' Questions and Worries

Kids are flexible right. They adapt quickly, they 'roll with the punches' so to speak. However, that does not mean that the pandemic is not a trying time for them.

So, what do you do about it? From reading a number of articles on the subject here are some thoughts:

Help Yourself First

Stay calm in this time of uncertainty. Remember, kids pick-up more from non-verbal cues than what we say. The treatment for anxiety isn’t to make the fear go away, it’s to manage the fear and tolerate uncertainty. Many parents are having a harder time dealing with COVID-19 than their children, and some of the anxiety that kids are experiencing may be inadvertently passed on by worried parents.

But how to stay calm?

• Stay Informed. Keep up to date on what is happening, but remember not to obsess.

• Focus on what you’re doing right now. You can’t control the future, but you can take charge of the present.

• Rely on routines. Establishing a routine that involves exercise, regular meals and healthy amounts of sleep is also crucial to regulating our moods and our worries.

Next, Check-in With The Kids

When kids are feeling anxious, it may or may not be clear to parents. Remember you shouldn’t be looking for just one thing, anxiety could look like:

• Reassurance-seeking (Are we going to be okay? Is Grandpa going to be okay?)

• Reluctance to separate from parents

• Physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches

• Moodiness and irritability

• Tantrums or meltdowns

• Trouble sleeping

Then, Help Your Kids

• Structure their day. As parents we often think that setting boundaries for a child is a way to make our lives easier, but in fact kids thrive on them, too. It is easy for children to get bored or fretful if they are facing a day without structure, and anxiety can thrive under those circumstances.

• Avoid giving too much reassurance. For kids of all ages avoiding getting into a cycle of providing too much reassurance. Kids can come to rely on the reassurance and want to hear it more and more often — and when a parent isn’t able to give them complete reassurance their anxiety can worsen.

• Remind kids of the things they are doing to take care of themselves - like washing their hands or staying indoors, and encourage them to focus on being in the moment. They can practice mindfulness activities alone or with you.

• Be cognizant of topics of concern, and discuss them with your children:

  • Keep your kids up to date with what they need to know, for example at present kids, like adults, are preoccupied with vaccines. As well as the fact that this topic is on everyone's mind, if you think it is confusing navigating the ever-changing discussion on vaccines: are they safe? can I see Grandma now? when will I get one? - imagine what impression kids are getting.

  • The social and emotional impacts of the pandemic are just as important to address as the science. Remember their world structure has also be thrown up in the air, school schedules, seeing friends, hobbies and sports teams, family holidays. Make sure you keep them abreast of what is coming up.

  • Help your children make sense of inconsistencies in people’s preventative behaviours. Rules are rules right, well not when it comes to COVID prevention: Why can Johnny play with Joe but I can't? Why do I have to wear this stupid mask when other people don't? Help them understand people take different approaches, and this is ours.

• Look for the positive. When things go well acknowledge and reinforce them. There are some silver linings, including being able to share this special time with your kids.

Cheers

Cliff